do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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