took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
