Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize