THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
