just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize