Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
