so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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