my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
