Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
