and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
party gras won. party gras always wins.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
