today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
