can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
