Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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