The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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