Have you finally orgasmed yet?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
