Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
