Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
wanna go halves on a baby?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
