You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
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I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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