She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize