is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate