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• (806): View more from Texas

  Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.

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• (347): View more from New York

  You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you

  (718): View more from New York

  yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.

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• (259): View more from

  man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.

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