i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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