I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
