I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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