Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
