I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
