Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
