made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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