Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
