I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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