You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
