Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize