So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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