Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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