with your own penis?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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