I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize