if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
