Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
