My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize