No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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