Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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