i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
