i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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