Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
