FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
