There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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