Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize