But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Please, let me fuck your mom
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
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Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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