Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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