i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
