Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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