in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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