I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
