Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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