That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
