We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
