but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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