OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
