You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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