What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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