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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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