What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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